Ebbs & Flows
I hope you’re all hanging in there with the ebbs and flows of life lately. To be honest, it has been challenging keeping up. I day passes in the blink of an eye, and getting kids to bed can feel like a lifetime. Joking aside, my nervous system has been working overtime and I am feeling the effects. The more I’ve researched, studied, and practiced various forms of yoga, trauma-informed studies, and childhood development, the more I’m realizing how often I’ve operated in a chronic state of stress. There have been some truly difficult moments over the past few weeks, and I find myself overwhelmed with all there is to do (school planning, meal planning, class planning, schedule planning), how many ideas and projects lay around half-completed (gardens getting ignored, art projects collecting dust, ideas bouncing inside my head), all there is going on in the world (injustice, fires, so much suffering), and how little control I have on 99% of it.
In this moment, I feel capable of exactly what is in front of me, but I’m continually watching myself get too far into the future and essentially getting spun out. When I observe my mind running away – at least so far today – I have taken a deep breath and brought it back to what is happening right now. How do I want to feel at the end of the day? What is the next best thing for me to do that lines up with that feeling? I heard this state described by one of my teachers as “functional freeze”. Though we feel the pressure, we continue on. I do believe this time holds so much potential for transformation – taking anger and pain and discomfort and transmuting it into positive energy for change in the world. However, I keep noticing in myself the great need for tenderness and grace. It is critical to give myself space and time to feel anything that does arise, and do my best to hold it as I would an upset child. When I offer myself that space, I can more easily offer it to those around me, who are undoubtedly moving through many of the same emotions and sensations. We are all doing the best we can.
There is a new moon tomorrow, and Autumn Equinox is next week. This time of year is ripe for creating a vision of our ideal future. In order to fully envision the future, it’s important to take time to evaluate where we have been and observe what is present now. A friend turned me on to a site called 10Q a number of years ago. It’s like a digital time capsule, and it’s totally free. Each day, for 10 days, a question is sent for you to consider. Your answers are stored, then sent to you the following year. You get a chance to remember where you were, see how things have changed, and reset again for the future.
The schedule has a few changes and will continue to shift slightly in the future. A few other offerings are in the works, as well. Thanks to everyone who was able to offer input. I am still scheduling smaller pod groups for friends, private lessons, and shorter brain-breaks – feel free to reach out if you’re interested in getting a group of classes scheduled.